Best Laid Plans
by AsreonInfusion
Summary: It was meant to be a romantic day out, but nothing ever quite goes to plan. One-shot, written for the FFVII Kink Meme with the prompt 'Zack/Cloud-getting frisky in the barn; voyeuristic chocobos/animals'.


Another little scribble created for the kink meme, you know the drill by now. I don't think I actually write anything that's _not_ for the kink meme. Oops?

I hate trying to come up with titles for these things. Usually I just refer to them by a helpfully descriptive working title such 'filthy cum smut' or 'sex in a barn with voyeuristic chocobos', but alas, I have to attempt to call them something sensible when I actually post them. Titles are the hardest part.

**Pairing:** Zack/Cloud  
**Rating:** NC17  
**Wordcount:** 2870  
**Prompt:** Zack/Cloud-getting frisky in the barn; voyeuristic chocobos/animals! ;P  
**Warnings:** Fluffy, somewhat silly smut. That's it, that's the whole story.

* * *

Okay, so it wasn't the romantic day out Zack had planned. Not that the picnic hadn't been nice... at least until they had been invaded by wasps. And the walk through the mako caves had been spectacular, despite taking a wrong turn and ending up in the Marshes on the wrong side of the mountain.

Even going up against the Midgar Zolom had been pretty fun. Sure, it wasn't _romantic_ as such, but they had stood there breathless and laughing afterwards, with Beta-singed hair and goopy Zolom drool all over them, and Cloud had leaned in and kissed him anyway. Zack grinned like an idiot for an hour after.

But all good things must come to an end, and the afternoon quickly drew late and cold. Dark, angry clouds gathered and succeeded in drenching them with sporadic bursts of squalling showers. (At least it washed off the worst of the Zolom remains.) Zack had planned on getting them a nice hotel room in Kalm, but they were way too far off course to make it. And after getting soaked for a third time in quick succession, they were both willing to settle for anywhere decently dry and warm.

That was how they ended up in the barn at a chocobo ranch. It _was_ decently dry and warm, though Cloud thought they should possibly have added 'not smelling of wet animal' to their requirements list. But it was nice enough aside from that, simple but clean, with fresh sheets over a thick pallet of straw that made a surprisingly comfortable bed.

They had hung their drenched clothes over a stall divider to dry. Zack, shameless as ever, wandered freely through the barn in nothing but his boxers, cooing over its other occupants.

"Aww, Cloud, look! This one has chickabos!"

Cloud joined Zack, peering over the stall door. He couldn't help smiling at the little bundles of fluff cuddled up against their mothers side, kwehing and chirping softly.

Zack wrapped an arm around Cloud's waist. "They look just like you, chocobo-head."

Cloud elbowed him and Zack made a wounded noise. Their antics attracted the attention of another chocobo, one of a pair in the stall next door, who perked up and gave a questioning trill.

"Heya girl," Zack cooed, reaching out a hand to pet the inquisitive bird's beak. "Look how friendly this one is, Cloud."

She certainly seemed to be happy with the attention, especially when Cloud reached out his hand as well, mimicking Zack's actions.

Zack beamed. "She likes you!" He paused a moment in mock consideration. "She probably thinks you're a long lost relative."

Cloud snorted and elbowed Zack again, who only laughed and ruffled Cloud's hair. It was embarrassing when Zack teased him in front of his unit - or, Gaia forbid, the General - but he didn't mind it so much when it was just the two of them. Besides, it was impossible to take Zack seriously when his hair was equally as ridiculous.

The chocobo did seem particularly attached to them though, giving a plaintive trill when they left her. But neither Zack nor Cloud paid much attention to that. The teasing had devolved into something that was partially a play-fight, but mostly just a very physical form of flirting. When Zack actually went far enough to spank Cloud, he got a finger hooked into the waistband of his boxers and physically dragged back to their makeshift bed.

So maybe it hadn't been the perfect romantic day he had planned, but it still finished exactly the way Zack had been hoping for. With Cloud spread out beneath him, hands tangling in each others hair as they exchanged hot, sweet, breathless kisses. Cloud had worked both of their boxers off somewhere along the way, and now their naked arousals were pressed against each other. Cloud rolled his hips up against Zack's, and Zack groaned in delight.

"Oh, shit, Cloud," he gasped between kisses. It almost pained him to pull away, and Cloud pouted after him when he did. "Lube," Zack said by way of explanation. Because of course he was prepared enough to have been carrying some in his rucksack the whole time.

Zack returned to settle himself between Cloud's legs, crawling up his body in a series of open-mouthed kisses and love bites. Cloud arched up into Zack's attentions, hand finding Zack's broad, muscled shoulders and pulling him in close. Zack's hands wandered in turn, slipping between their bodies to grasp Cloud's erection.

Cloud groaned, grip tightening to dig blunt fingernails into Zack's back. Zack knew exactly how to handle him, stroking his cock with an agonisingly teasing slowness and that little twist at the end that drove Cloud wild.

"Zack!" Cloud cried out, just a touch of a whimper cracking his voice.

"Gaia, I love it when you say my name like that," Zack admitted huskily, nuzzling against Cloud's throat.

Cloud opened his mouth to reply, or maybe just say Zack's name again, but he was interrupted by a loud, angry kweh. Zack froze in confusion.

"Zack," Cloud said slowly, turning his head to the source of the disturbance. "That chocobo is watching us." It didn't look terribly happy either, feathery crest standing upright in alarm as it peered over the wooden divider between the stalls.

Zack turned to look for himself and laughed. "I think someone's jealous." He gave Cloud another firm, deft stroke, making Cloud cry out and the chocobo trill, displeased.

"Zack!" Cloud hissed, face reddening in a manner that wasn't to do with passion. "It's _watching_. I can't..."

Zack nipped at Cloud's throat, and Cloud tilted his head back to allow him access despite his reservations. "Shh, it's fine. It's just a bird, right?"

It may have been just a bird, but it had big, intelligent eyes that _were_ watching, and watching like it knew exactly what they were doing and was judging them for it. Cloud squirmed, self-conscious and uncomfortable.

Zack kissed him, his other hand stroking through Cloud's hair reassuringly. "Ignore it, it'll go away."

Cloud did his best to do as Zack suggested. The chocobo seemed less alarmed now he wasn't crying out, so Cloud resolved to remain as silent as possible in the hope it would leave. That resolve was broken almost immediately as Zack pressed two slick, lubed fingers against his entrance.

"Ohh," Cloud breathed as Zack breached him, stretching him open. They did this often enough that there was no pain at all, and preparation was quick and easy. Zack drew it out though, touching and stroking inside Cloud in was way that made him writhe beneath Zack's weight, face flushing with sexual heat.

"Zack!" Cloud gasped, pulling him down into a hot, open-mouthed kiss, sharing his moans.

Zack returned the kiss greedily. "Gods, you're so gorgeous like this," he murmured. And Cloud really was, with his kiss-swollen lips and eyes glassy with lust, hair even more mussed than usual where Zack's hands had been running through it.

"I want you," Cloud said simply, and Zack's cock twitched eagerly in response.

He drew back only momentarily, just long enough to roll on a condom with practised ease and lube himself up. Then he was hovering over Cloud, braced on one forearm as he lined himself up.

Cloud locked his legs around Zack's hips, dragging him in close. His head was tossed back, eyes closed in concentrated pleasure as Zack's hard flesh sank deep into his body.

Their lips brushed against each other, not quite a kiss, breaths mingling as they each gasped the others name.

Zack pulled out and thrust back in again, slowly, deep and powerful, and Cloud let out a ragged cry.

Another cry answered him, and Cloud froze. "Th- that stupid bird is still watching," he hissed, as if it could hear. Except it wasn't just the one anymore; the commotion had attracted its mate, and now two sets of beady eyes stared down at them. The original yellow female warbled, agitated, while the black that had joined her seemed merely curious.

Zack moaned to himself, biting his lip. Cloud's whole body had tensed, with the unintended result of tightening around Zack's cock still in his ass and _Gaia_. It was pleasurable almost to the point of pain.

"Relax, Cloud," he gasped. It was part reassurance, part desperate plea.

"Sorry." Cloud's tension lessened, but not by much. They were still _watching_. "Zack..."

Zack pressed his forehead to Cloud's. "It's okay, just look at me. They're just dumb birds, yeah?"

Cloud nodded. But it still made him feel uncomfortable, unpleasantly squirmy. He was naked - literally and metaphorically - open and vulnerable. With Zack, he trusted him absolutely, and being so exposed and spread out beneath his gaze made Cloud's pulse quicken. Anyone else seeing him like this, though...

Zack understood, hovering over Cloud as if to shield him with his own body. Cloud had relaxed enough for Zack to move, and he gave a long, slow roll of his hips that made Cloud groan. Made Cloud groan and made the bloody chocobo wark again.

"I... I think the noise is disturbing them," Cloud whispered, covering his mouth with the back of his hand. He had tensed up again, and Zack had to fight not to moan. "Maybe if I stay quiet..."

"No way!" That was the other great thing about the barn. The farmhouse proper was over on the other side of the corral, so there was absolutely no one around hear them. Zack had been looking forward to making Cloud _scream_.

Then he shot Cloud a wicked grin. "If they're gonna watch, why don't we put on a show?"

Cloud was speechless for a second, blushing an adorable, deep crimson right up to the roots of his hair. "They're _birds_," he spluttered.

"Exactly, so there's no reason to be self-conscious about it!"

Cloud didn't look convinced. Zack leaned down and kissed him sweetly. "Don't worry," he murmured, tracing his lips along Cloud's jaw. "Just focus on me, I promise I'll make you forget all about them."

That, Cloud could do. Zack's mouth found his again, one arm wrapping beneath Cloud's waist to hold him close while the other hand traced over the contours of Cloud's stomach. He took up a slow, deep rhythm between Cloud's legs, all he could manage with the tension still lingering and making loud feel so deliciously _tight_ around him.

Cloud moaned into Zack's mouth, bucking his hips up to meet Zack's thrusts in a plea for more. But Zack didn't hurry at all. If anything, he slowed down even further, arching over Cloud and taking him with a deep, powerful roll of his hips, controlled and almost showy.

It _was_ showy; Cloud had thought he was kidding, but he was actually showing off. As if the chocobos could appreciate his sexual prowess! Cloud could have laughed (because laughing was better than the lingering unease from those damn beady eyes staring and staring), except that he _could_ appreciate Zack's sexual prowess and his cock was rubbing Cloud inside in all the best places. The sound that burst from his lips was more of a delighted whimper.

"Gods, Cloud," Zack groaned, voice low and rough. "Touch yourself. I wanna see."

Cloud hesitated, but this was _Zack_ who wanted to watch him. It wasn't like the chocobos could really understand, right? Plus he was already hard and aching, the head of his cock slicked with precome, and Cloud groaned as he wrapped his fingers around himself.

Zack lifted himself further upright so he could devour Cloud with hungry eyes. "Show me."

Zack's shamelessness must have been infectious. Cloud arched his body up, thrusting his erection into the weak light. He stroked himself in time with Zack's thrusts inside him, their pace torturously slow.

Both the chocobos where trilling loudly now, feathers ruffled. Their intelligent eyes were fixed firmly on the bizarre human coupling in front of them, and Cloud finally decided he couldn't even care anymore, not with Zack's cock kissing his prostate with every rock of his hips.

"Zack, more, please," he begged, mouth dry.

Zack was happy to oblige, the tightness and heat of being inside Cloud leaving him just as desperate. He lost some of his finesse, replacing it with a faster, harder rhythm, and Cloud loved it. They drowned out the chocobos alarmed warbling with their own noise, Zack's heavy pants and Cloud's cries, the smack of skin against skin.

Cloud lifted his hips up to give Zack better access, putting himself even more on display. He was jerking himself roughly now, thumb rubbing over the sensitive slit at the head of his cock. His other hand trailed over his own body, toying with his nipples, and, Gaia, now _he_ was showing off for an audience of dumb birds!

It was ridiculous, but... actually kind of fun, once he got into it.

Zack certainly appreciated Cloud's actions, smiling down at him with lust-heavy eyes. "You," he breathed, kissing Cloud hotly, "are so damn gorgeous."

Cloud's only reply was a moan, tightening his knees around Zack's sides as he was pounded into. Zack's hand joined Cloud's on his erection, setting a new rhythm of quick, firm strokes that he knew would send Cloud spiralling to the edge.

"Zack!" Cloud yelled, trembling beneath him.

"C'mon, I'm close as well," Zack gasped.

Cloud's hands flew up to clutch at Zack's shoulders. Zack's touch on his cock felt electric, and Zack's cock inside him even more so, taking him over and over and over. Zack slammed into him, pressing against Cloud's most sensitive spot, and Cloud shuddered and groaned as he came in Zack's hand.

Zack's eyes closed, mouth open in concentrated pleasure as he sank deep again into Cloud's trembling body. His hips jerked, working himself to completion. Cloud tangled a hand into Zack's hair and pulled him down into a heated kiss as Zack's cock bucked and spilled inside him.

They moved slowly, gently against each other, gradually coming down from their orgasmic high. Zack pressed soft kissed against Cloud's lips and jaw, humming contentedly.

Cloud blinked slowly. It was more than just a hum, it was... more like a cooing? And it wasn't Zack. It was the stupid chocobos again. Cloud gave a quiet groan. "Are those damn birds still watching?"

Zack chuckled, stretching languidly as he glanced up. "The damn birds are still watching," he confirmed with an amused little smile, though they did seem less focused on the humans now the show was over.

Cloud grumbled, but his heart wasn't in it.

Zack drew his softened cock out of Cloud's ass, and Cloud sighed at the loss. Zack took off the condom and gave himself and Cloud and perfunctory wipe with the corner of the sheets before settling down next to him again. They tangled their legs together, bodies pressing into a close embrace. Zack was warm and solid and as far as Cloud was concerned, there was nothing better than falling asleep in his arms after a vigorous round of sex.

His relaxing reverie was rudely interrupted by a loud wark. Cloud groaned and buried his head in Zack's shoulder. "What's their problem now?"

Zack laughed and kissed the top of Cloud's head. "Well, they're not watching anymore."

But they were still making a lot of noise, working up to a cacophony of kwehs and warks and trills. Cloud wrinkled his nose in annoyance. "Then what are they doing, and how do we make them shut up?"

Zack listened for a second, then slowly smirked. "I think... they're doing exactly what we were. I wonder if they got turned on watching us?"

Cloud was abruptly awake. "Oh my god, Zack."

"Maybe we should go and watch _them_, see how they like it."

"...You really worry me sometimes," Cloud said, staring at Zack in concerned horror.

Zack fell about laughing. It was a pure, full-bodied laugh, the sort Cloud had never known existed before meeting Zack. He was devastatingly gorgeous when he laughed like that, and Cloud couldn't help but laugh with him.

The laughter abruptly ended as Zack pulled Cloud close and kissed him. It felt like it should have been a strange follow up to their easy hilarity, but somehow it worked perfectly. The kiss was passionate and absolutely genuine in a way that left Cloud floored.

"I love you," Zack said.

And Cloud believed him. Zack had said it before, but Zack was so carefree and affectionate that it was the sort of thing he could claim on whim, and Cloud had never quite trusted his judgement on the matter. But he meant it. He honestly meant it, and Cloud's heart swelled.

And then the fucking chocobo gave a piercing shriek, and their moment was shattered.

Cloud couldn't even be irritated. He laughed every bit as hard as Zack had, and as they kissed between bouts of giggles, with a soundtrack of chocobo sex noises in the background, Cloud knew that he was utterly and irrevocably in love with Zack as well.


End file.
